Polygamy means having more than one spouse at a time. It comes from two Greek words, polys, meaning many, and gamos, meaning marriage. In reality there are three forms of polygamy, which include polygyny, where one man is married to several wives; polyandry, where one woman has several husbands, and a third form, where several husbands are married to several wives.
Throughout the world, all forms of polygamy exist in varying degrees in various cultures. Islam did not introduce polygamy to the world; it, did, however place restrictions and conditions on this unique marriage arrangement, in order to assure that abuses did not occur. However, in Islam only one form of polygamy is permitted – polygyny.
It is incorrect to presume that Christian and Jewish religions have always been opposed to polygamy. Polygyny was practiced, to varying degrees throughout the history of the three monotheistic religions- Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. The Torah and the Bible do not condemn the practice of polygyny, rather some of the most esteemed and respected Prophets and Kings practiced polygyny, including Abraham, David, Jacob, and Solomon. However while there is no condemnation, there are also no restrictions on the practice of polygyny.
All three monotheistic religions have been accused of misogyny and certainly, some stories and traditions tend to confirm this, especially when women are referred to as property and polygyny is practised without restriction or regulation. Islam, however, places limitations on the number of wives a man may take and enforces laws that reconcile marriage with gender equality. The inequalities that exist between Muslim men and women are based on cultural aberrations and are not sanctified by Islamic law.
Women are described in Quran as being equal to men, and the tenants of Islam enshrine the rights and responsibilities of each member of the human race. Differences between the genders are celebrated. One life or one sex is not worth more than the other is. Islam builds on the respect, tolerance, and morality inherent in the original teachings of Judaism and Christianity and reveals itself as a code of life` for all people in all places and at all times. Polygyny is permitted in Islam and it, in no way, diminishes the rights or the equality of women.
Islam took an already well-established practice, polygyny, and instituted regulations that prevented chaos and abuse from entering the family structure. A well-balanced functioning family, where the rights of all members are respected and upheld, is the cornerstone of Islam. A moral and ethical community stems from this family structure and it is based on realistic notions of gender equality.
Polygyny is just one way consenting adult men and women can contribute to a well-rounded society free from immorality and degradation, and it is permitted under certain well-documented circumstances.
Polygyny is not a fixed dogma inherent in Islam, nor is it obligatory in any way. Quran has given permission for a man to take a maximum of four wives and each successive wife enjoys the same rights and privileges as the first.
Women are not forced into plural marriages without their consent. Women practising Islam have certain inalienable rights given to them by God Himself and some specifically pertain to marriage. Marrying into a polygynous family does not negate or change any of those rights. Nor are women’s rights changed or challenged if a previous monogamous marriage becomes polygynous. Marriage in Islam is a partnership between human beings seeking to please God by working towards a moral, stable life. Men and women are free to choose or reject their partners as they see fit, and Islam takes into account the vagaries of human nature.
Men and women pass into and out of relationships with little thought of each other or the resulting children. The sanctity of marriage is passed over in favour of serial monogamy and de facto relationships. Men are encouraged to take mistresses and girlfriends but a man who wants to take more than one legal wife, in order to assume responsibility for her and their children, is condemned and branded a sex fiend or wastrel.
Even in the Muslim world, men and women who choose to practice polygyny are sometimes condemned. However, the absurdity of such notions is becoming increasingly clear and polygamy is slowly winding its way back into popular culture.The word polygamy forces us to confront issues concerned with basic human nature. People and communities around the world, Muslims and non-Muslim alike, are investigating polygamous alternatives. They are looking at a marriage option with a long and valid history and wondering what it has to offer citizens of the 21st century.
Islam is criticized for allowing polygamy, for popular culture in the West views polygamy as relatively backward and impoverished. For many Christians, it is a license to promiscuity, and feminists consider it a violation of women’s rights and demeaning to women. A crucial point that needs to be understood is that for Muslims, standards of morality are not set by prevalent Western thought, but by divine revelation. A few simple facts should be borne in mind before any talk of polygamy in Islam.
Islam Did Not Initiate
Polygamy Islam did not introduce polygamy. Among all Eastern nations of antiquity, polygamy was a recognized institution. Among the Hindus, polygamy prevailed from the earliest times. There was, as among the ancient Babylonians, Assyrians, and Persians, no restriction as to the number of wives a man might have. Although Greece and Rome were not polygamous societies, concubinage was a norm. Islam regulated polygamy by limiting the number of wives and bringing responsibility to its practice. In fact, according to David Murray, an anthropologist, historically polygamy is more common than monogamy.
Polygamy Practiced by God’s Prophets
The great Hebrew patriarchs equally revered by Judaism, Christianity, and Islam – Abraham, Moses, Jacob, David, and Solomon, to name a few – were polygamous. According to the Bible:
Abraham had three wives (Genesis 16:1, 16:3, 25:1)
Moses had two wives (Exodus 2:21, 18:1-6; Numbers 12:1)
Jacob had four wives (Genesis 29:23, 29:28, 30:4, 30:9)
David had at least 18 wives (1 Samuel 18:27, 25:39-44; 2 Samuel 3:3, 3:4-5, 5:13, 12:7-8, 12:24, 16:21-23)
Solomon had 700 wives (1 Kings 11:3).[3]
The example of Jesus, who otherwise overlooked polygamy, is irrelevant as he did not marry during his earthly ministry.
Marriage in Islam
Marriage is a legal arrangement in Islam, not a sacrament in the Christian sense, and is secured with a contract. Islamic marriage lays rights and corresponding responsibilities on each spouse. Children born in wedlock are given legitimacy and share in inheritance from their parents.
The primary purpose of marriage in Islam is regulating sexuality within marriage as well as creating an atmosphere for the continuity and extension of the family. This is in sharp contrast to growing trends on marriage in the West. In recent decades, there are more alternatives to marriage than ever before. Cohabitation – living together outside of marriage – has greatly increased among young, never-married adults, as well as the divorced. More American women are having children outside of marriage, ignoring the traditionally sanctioned sequence of marriage followed by childbearing.
Polygamy in the Quran
The Muslim scripture, the Quran, is the only known world scripture to explicitly limit polygamy and place strict restrictions upon its practice:
“… marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one.” (Quran 4:3)
The Quran limited the maximum number of wives to four. In the early days of Islam, those who had more than four wives at the time of embracing Islam were required to divorce the extra wives. Islam further reformed the institution of polygamy by requiring equal treatment to all wives. The Muslim is not permitted to differentiate between his wives in regards to sustenance and expenditures, time, and other obligations of husbands. Islam does not allow a man to marry another woman if he will not be fair in his treatment. Prophet Muhammad forbade discrimination between the wives or between their children.
Also, marriage and polygamy in Islam is a matter of mutual consent. No one can force a woman to marry a married man. Islam simply permits polygamy; it neither forces nor requires it. Besides, a woman may stipulate that her husband must not marry any other woman as a second wife in her prenuptial contract. The point that is often misunderstood in the West is that women in other cultures – especially African and Islamic – do not necessarily look at polygamy as a sign of women’s degradation. Consequently, to equate polygamy with degrading women is an ethnocentric judgment of other societies.
Even though we see the clear permissibility of polygamy in Islam, its actual practice is quite rare in many Muslim societies. Some researchers estimate no more than 2% of the married males practice polygamy. Most Muslim men feel they cannot afford the expense of maintaining more than one family. Even those who are financially capable of looking after additional families are often reluctant due to the psychological burdens of handling more than one wife. One can safely say that the number of polygamous marriages in the Muslim world is much less than the number of extramarital affairs in the West. In other words, contrary to prevalent notion, men in the Muslim world today are more strictly monogamous than men in the Western world.
