She was trained as an architect but her love for the arts has made her a factor in the world of the arts. Ifeoma Fafunwa is the brain behind popular and soar away star-studded stage play, Hear Word. In this interview, she speaks with WOLE ADEPOJU about the leading play as well as her life. She also explains why she got married later than her peers, among other issues. Excerpts:
Hear Word is a successful project. As the arrow head of the production, how do you feel when people sing your praises?
I feel very good about it. I don’t feel like this is all me because when I conceived of it, I actually even thought that there would be more people participating in this thing than the few of us that are participating in it now, meaning those working on it. The audience, as you can see, you watched it yourself, (referring to the interviewer) becomes a participant in it. What happened is that we created it when I conceived it in my mind. If you notice, there is no set. So, we can move anywhere, we can do it anywhere. And I opened it up for people to send stories, to tell us their stories, to share in it. We thought the creation of it, the performance of it, the audience participation; we wanted it to be something that everybody could take credit for being a part.
I think I should be saying I am very lucky and thanking God because my husband is very supportive of me. He is a kind of husband that is rare, I don’t want to say he is perfect because I am not watching him 24/7
What is your reaction to the view that some men would have seen Hear Word as a rebellious campaign?
The play is not actually a male bashing play. If you watch it properly, you will find out most perpetrators in the play are women. We had mothers-in-law trying to bring down daughters-in-law; we had women that were gossiping about their neighbours and other people’s children. We had women that were debasing themselves and women who were making very poor choices. So, if you look at the real person that gets the bashing in that play, it’s the women themselves. And that is why they like to come and see it because they ask themselves the questions: Why am I shortchanging myself? Why am I mistreating my own children? Why am I being terrible to my daughter in-law? I think that it’s a place where women can reflect . So, the men, we give only about 20 per cent of our material, we don’t give them that much material. So, if they are feeling bashed, it means they are feeling guilty.
Do you intend to get the play to a wider audience, because being a stage performance may have shut out a lot of people?
Yes, we plan to eventually get it to where everybody in Nigeria can easily grab a copy of the play, but before we go there, we are interested in promoting performance art.
Could it be due to alleged fear of harsh cultural treatment meted to their widows, as seen in Hear Word, that made you to get married to a Yoruba man and not a man from your Igbo tribe?
No. Not at all. (Laughs) I could marry anybody from anywhere that treated me right and that I was attracted to. I had my criteria. I did not get married until it was quite late. I married in my late 30s. I was very picky and my husband that I married was my best friend from the time I was 17. I married my husband not because he was Yoruba, but because he is a very nice man; he is very supportive; and I was not going to tolerate anything less.
It’s a big issue in this part of the world for a lady to get married late. How would you react to this based on the cause you now champion?
I think people would do what they want to do and you’re free to marry whenever you want so long as you are over 18. I am against people marrying under-18, because as a woman, you really have no idea of yourself. I think that you marry when you know yourself and I think the sooner a young woman gets out into the world and lives by herself, feeds herself and works, the quicker she can marry. I think when you are sheltered; you don’t know what you want because you are getting everything from your parents. This is where it’s controversial for me, because if you notice in the play, we say when a woman is living alone, people call her loose but that is what helped me to make the wise choice in my husband because I had already become an independent person and I knew what I needed to bring to the table. I also knew what I expected my husband to bring to the table, because I knew if I did not marry, I would still be okay. I would still feed myself, would still have a fulfilling life. I understood who I was, what I liked and what I was about, and I think that is the real way a woman should enter into a marriage, where you are equal with your husband.
I think I should be saying I am very lucky and thanking God because my husband is very supportive of me. He is a kind of husband that is rare, I don’t want to say he is perfect because I am not watching him 24/7
Could you tell us what your experience has been like in marriage?
I think I should be saying I am very lucky and thanking God because my husband is very supportive of me. He is a kind of husband that is rare, I don’t want to say he is perfect because I am not watching him 24/7. But If I say I need to go away for three weeks to work on certain things, he would look after my children well and they won’t miss a day in school. He would make sure that he covers that for me, even though he is a CEO of his own company. And likewise, if he has to go away and do whatever, I would do it as well. He sees me as his equal and his best friend. So, we help each other. So, for me, I can say that I am lucky. I also can say when I was young, I made a choice in my late 20s after experiencing a relationship where the man I was dating, he was very sweet, but I didn’t know where he was, I did not know what he was doing, I didn’t know what money he earned, I didn’t understand those things. When I was in my late 20s, I said this is not gonna work for me, this does not work with my vibes. I don’t care if I don’t marry a man who has a lot of money, but he needs to be my friend, otherwise, I am just not gonna marry. So, that was the choice I made at 28 and I waited till I got to 38 before I got
married.
