BY HOPE O’RUKEVBE EGHAGHA
Orezime: Waow! The federal government has arrested scoundrel Nnamdi Kanu at last! Long live the Federal Republic of Nigeria!
Kalio: Hmm! Scoundrel?
Emeka: Congratulations! The Attorney General and Minister of Justice made the announcement in Hausa at a national press conference!
Tunde: Noooooo!
Emeka: Yeeeees! He did!
Tunde: What point did he want to make?
Kalio: What else but to insinuate that Hausa/Fulani elements have cornered the government of Nigeria! So, when a Yoruba man takes over as President, business would be carried out in Yoruba language. These men are dividing the country through acts of omission and commission!
Orezime: Was he speaking to a sectional audience? Was he addressing a section of the country?
Obukohwo: Are we living in two countries?
Aboki: May be! The south and north see the world differently. Even in the north, there are different views, different religions, and different political leanings. Not everyone in the north agrees with the president’s methods. There is more anger in the north against the presidency than in the south! Have you seen the level of devastation in the north? Areas lost to banditry? For the core northerner, Nnamdi Kanu is not a problem. Banditry and Boko Haram are the problem.
Orezime: Are you kidding me?
Aboki: Go and check out the facts!
Emeka: The AG addressed a press conference in Abuja. It’s scoundrels like him that promote the conquest narrative which has led to secessionist movements in the country. What the Attorney General did was palpably wrong. He should remember that he is the nation’s AG, not AG to a section of the country. By speaking in Hausa while addressing the nation, he broke the letter and spirit of the Nigerian Constitution.
Tunde: I agree that he should have confined himself to English. Scoundrel is a harsh word to use on a federal government appointee. I suggest you withdraw it!
Emeka: Excuse me! Let them withdraw the occupation troops in the southeast first!
Aboki: Yes! Long live the Federal Republic of Nigeria!
Tunde: Long live Oduduwa Republic which will come to be through negotiations, cunning and diplomacy! Hahahahahaha!
Obukohwo: That’s a different kettle of fish! Oduduwa Republic! Just like Midwest Republic!
Tunde: Yes oo! The doctrine of Separation is embedded in too many hearts these days!
Orezime: Very many are for staying together after restructuring the country!
Aboki: Millions are indifferent to the future of the country! They are happy as long as they have food to eat and a roof over their head!
Emeka: Long live the Republic! The foul-mouthed Nnamdi Kanu is just an aspect of self-determination. He is not the ideal. But I dare say his arrest will not end agitations for restructuring! To some he is a freedom fighter! So, let’s mind our language!
Kalio: True, it will not and cannot stop Boko Haram or ISIS or banditry, all forces contending for the soul of a fragmented Nigeria!
Emeka: It will not; but there will be no arm-chair civilian-General dishing out foul-mouthed orders from exile to wreak havoc on our homeland! Long live the Republic!
Obukohwo: Emeka, I notice you didn’t add Nigeria to your proclamation of Federal Republic!
Orezime: What’s the big deal?
Emeka: It’s just a matter of time; we will have a new country, a new Nigeria. Injustice cannot live forever!
Kalio: True. Injustice cannot rule the land forever. There will be variants of Isaac Boro, Ken Saro Wiwa and Nnamdi Kanu before the real Nigeria emerges. Our current rulers are temporary custodians of a transient nation!
Orezime: It is interesting that the British gave up a citizen for arrest. What does this mean?
Aboki: The federal attorney general was spare in information. We are left to speculate on where he was arrested. But the British have clearly said he was not arrested in the UK!
Kalio: Self-exoneration in case there is a backlash. Both from home and abroad!
Aboki: That’s not likely. Without the approval of the international system, the arrest would have been impossible.
Orezime: Good riddance to bad rubbish!
Emeka: What next after the arrest?
Aboki: Try and sentence him a long jail term. Nigerians will forget about him.
Emeka: I don’t think so. We have unwittingly made a hero of him. Once he is incarcerated, his followers will turn the jail house to a Mecca!
Aboki: Not if he is locked up in Gashua or Kaura Namoda or some outlandish God-forsaken dungeon!
Emeka: Whatever, happens, he must not die in custody, either by design or default!
Aboki: The heavens will not fall if anything happens. Saro Wiwa was killed like a common criminal. What happened thereafter? It’s not that I am in support of taking his life in any way though.
Obukohwo: The cavalier attitude to life-taking!
Emeka: Kanu has his following. There were protests in Port Harcourt after he was arrested. I suspect that there will be more protests in the days and weeks ahead.
Kalio: By the way did you see the way he looked after the arrest?
Orezime: Like a chicken in a zoo, ready to be pounced on by lions! Kikikikikiki! The man who threatened the whole country was picked up somewhere in Kenya and brought into the country like a chicken!
Tunde: Not funny! They will soon go after Sunday Igboho for ethnic balancing!
Obukohwo: Welcome to dictatorship!
Aboki: It’s no dictatorship. Every government must secure its territory! Kanu, Igboho and Gumi are three of a kind. They are all non-state actors filling a void and challenging the supremacy of the rule of Law!
Kalio: Why has Gumi not been arrested?
Obukohwo: He is a special breed! Untouchable!
Aboki: Remember that El Ibrahim Zakzaky has been in detention for threatening the unity and peace of the country!
Tunde: Intra-Islamic, inter-sect struggle. Not a good example!
Orezime: Let us focus on Nnamdi please.
Emeka: Arresting him will prevent the foul-mouthed coward from issuing bloody orders; but it is not the end of the struggle. Nigeria is a wobbling giant. The President must show statesmanship to keep the country together again! Locking up people for being expressive simply drives opposition underground. The nation must hold talks!
Aboki: Yes! Let us talk. Who is afraid of talking fa?
Orezime: We are in agreement. The president should strengthen the hands of state-actors by inviting them for discussions to bring peace to the south east. The undeclared war in the region must end! There are reports of soldiers carrying out extrajudicial killings. This must stop!
Aboki: Yes all the nonsense going on must stop!
Tunde: Who will stop the nonsense?
Kalio: Big question!
Aboki: The buck stops at Aso Rock. The President must repair the country before stepping down in 2023!
Emeka: Will he step down or step aside in 2023?
Aboki: What a mischievous question! Why won’t he?
Orezime: Perhaps you should give him a mischievous answer!
