“ Plans are still in the pipeline to buy 10 additional plastic chairs and four tables, to cope with the crowd of revellers in this joint. I can now walk tall because three years ago when I brought Comfort to this place, it was like a decision to settle down in the jungle.”
“How was this place in the past? I am sure you are the one who bankrolled all the facilities here. This I can confirm through the seductive ways the lady has been treating you. Kay, we are in your kingdom.”
“Simmer, Ogbonna, simmer. I actually paid for this shop when it used to have a wooden window. I changed it to a slit one. I did a German floor as against the time-worn, peeling cemented floor. I bought two ceiling fans and one split A/C that can freeze you as if you were in Siberia…”
“All for the love of Comfort’s physical endowment? You must have a very deep pocket. I am sure you must be on your guard; you must safeguard your ‘investment’ against any encroachment. I only hope she does not have a secret lover somewhere, as I am prepared to fight your cause. Nobody must steal from your comfort zone.”
“Ogbos, don’t work me up. I’ve done all I could for a lady who made me happy. Whatever she does behind me is none of my business. Let Comfort serve you one criminally cold bottle of beer, mortuary standard. I’ve not seen you for a while; we need to talk on burning national issues.”
“What is trending, you will agree with me, is this heat on acting President Yemi Osinbajo who some people believe is consolidating his grounds in the absence of his boss, President Muhammadu Buhari, who is away to UK to treat himself.”
“I know detractors will always find some funny, funny stories to tell. One Dr. Farouk wrote that the acting President had been appointing his brethren in the Redeemed Church into key positions and that his law firm had been hijacking big contracts.”
“What do you expect? Everybody that is acting in that capacity is always under suspicion. But whatever it is, I believe that the acting President should answer to every allegation against him, to save his good name from being dragged through the mud.”
“Well, for all I care, Osinbajo can appoint anybody into any position but he should only be discretional enough to let the appointments reflect national spread or quota system, knowing the peculiarity of the Nigerian society.”
“Then, as for his law firm getting big contracts, I think it’s something he should watch. Much as his firm, like any other firm can take contracts, he should ensure that it takes them in reasonable quantum, such that will not attract probing eyes.”
i know detractors will always find some funny, funny stories to tell. One Dr. Farouk wrote thatthe acting President had been appointing his brethren in the Redeemed Church into key positions
“Ogbos, think you are right. Everything requires method. If not, the roforofo fight will ultimately get to the National Assembly, where some bellicose politicians are breathing hard to stir up some fights.”
“Well, Osinbajo is a SAN. He knows how to handle his traducers. It’s just like us veteran drinkers, no liquor tyro knows the beer parlour terrain more than we do.”
“Please rush your beer as you are still entitled to additional four bottles and two plates of steaming hot pepper-soup before you leave this domain.”
“”I trust you Kay, the dream of every reasonable woman. So I want to experience how it feels, to download five bottles of beer at a sitting and still be in one’s right senses. Even our friend, Charles, who took 13 bottles the other day found himself in the hospital.”
“For your information, Charles was here yesterday. He bought me a carton of beer at a time I had taken three bottles. I was only able to drink two out of the dozen. So, I was left with 10. Today, we are going to take five bottles each, and finish off Charles’ tempting gift.”
“”You guys dish out beer as you would bowls of water; I simply pity you. Have you not heard of the warning by economic experts that tough days lay ahead?”
“I reject it; or what are they trying to say? If the half-year verdict is that the rest of the year is going to be very difficult, that means I risk losing my Comfort, because she is best sustained with wads of naira notes. That means I would have to settle for a petty pepper trader or egg seller. Again, I reject it.”
“What you are saying is best expressed as ‘shillyshally jocosity.’ Truth is, life is hard. This year’s budget is still a subject of brouhaha, contracts are not being awarded and many workers are losing their jobs and I ask: where do we go from here?”
“Charles, you are right. I think government should focus on developing the real sectors. It should from now look away from oil and see how to develop other sectors so as to boost our export value and increase the foreign income base.”
“The great beer-parlour economist! But such lofty ideas also require great minds who are capable of driving the dream; not just some garrulous politicians.”
“Yap, I agree with you. Just the same way the demolition of a carton of beer requires great minds, not people who will drink and fall into the gutter.”
“Especially a great mind who must have been intoxicated by the compulsive love of Comfort; a kind of intoxication that pales drunkenness into insignificance. “Talkative! Please, home beckons; let’s drink quickly.”
