I was shattered when my husband married his second wife. But this was nothing compared to the pain his marriage to the third wife caused me. From the first day she stepped into the house, she made it clear that she had come to fight a battle. Unfortunately for me, my husband was always on her side, so asking the second wife to come home did not really help matters, even though I was a bit relieved.
The third wife is nothing compared to myself (God forgive me), or the second wife, in terms of beauty. She has this local breed touch combined with bad morals. Paint her black and she would pass for a monster. To worsen matters, she did not even go to secondary school, not to talk of the university.
But she felt she was on top of the world because she claimed that she would be the last wife. Her dream did not come to pass because barely a year after she moved in, my husband started dating another woman, who already had two children for her previous husband. She is dark-skinned, older than our husband but managed to have a senior school certificate. The two of them had a tough battle before she eventually became an official fourth wife.
On two occasions, the third one went to her shop to beat her and also planted needles in her seat the first day she came home formally.
I thought her entry would mark the end of my misery in a home I built from the scratch with my husband, but, along the line, the two of them became close and started to instigate my husband against me. The third wife has two children for my husband, while the fourth one has one. I have four children, and the second wife, three.
There was a day I was having a discussion with the second wife, who could not understand why I agreed not to take up paid employment with my level of education. I replied her, saying that if I had known my husband would turn the house into a breeding ground for mental cases, I would have thought twice before accepting his wish with love.
The second wife heard this and started shouting and cursing. I could not take it so I gave her a piece of my mind. As she rushed in to the common living room and stepped forward to slap me, the second wife, who had been the neutral one, held her hand. And instead of slapping me, she slapped her instead. That was the day I knew she was not also as quiet as she appeared.
With her big stature, she pounced on the third wife and beat her black and blue. Some other people, who had come visiting at the time, had to step in to separate them.
When my husband came back, he heaped the whole blame on me and, for the first time, beat me almost to the point of death. Blood was flowing freely from my nose and mouth and my daughter, who was six years then, started crying and rolling on the floor, calling “mummy, mummy”. I stayed in my room all through the next day, but he refused to beg me even when the second wife pointed out that he had wronged God because the third wife caused everything and that she was the one who engaged her in a fight, not me.
Events that followed showed that my husband had completely lost it as he refused to eat my food or come to my room to sleep. He would always sit with his two last wives in their wing and did not mind whether they quarrelled or not. When I look back, I ask myself: is this the same man I used to sit and wait for till very late in the night when he would return from work?
Is this the same man who confessed love in every way to me before we eventually tied the knot? The speed with which he married the other wives clearly showed that he is not a responsible man, even if we agree that Allah, in his wisdom, knows why he allowed men to go for four wives. But the same Allah says that our men should be just with their wives.
Even now that he has four of us at home, he sleeps outside most of the time. Some of his friends have hinted the second wife that he is planning to bring in another wife, but that he is only afraid that he has a full house already. One thing he has going for him, however, is that he does not joke with the upkeep of his children. But I never knew, when I agreed to marry him, that he would be a ruthless polygamist.
He beats women like beating would run out of fashion. Even the third and fourth wives have had their own share. But he has not hidden the fact that I am the least preferred now.
For over one year, he has not performed his roles as husband and I am expected not to have extra marital affairs. This is aside from the fact that, when he is meeting the other wives, I hear the sound. I am a human being with blood in me. Today, I limp as a result of an injury I sustained six months ago during one of my husband’s attacks. I wish I could mention his name so that psychologists can help him treat what I perceive to be a deeper problem than we think.
While his friends, who are in the same business with him, have done so many good things with their lives, he is battling to stay afloat with the unnecessary handbags he has bought with his money. He has continued to accuse me of calling his wives names and has threatened to kill me if I don’t leave his house. But should I watch other women take away what I struggled to build? Do I stay on for the sake of my children or start a new life? Please advise.
(Concluded)
