There is no doubt that the menace of child sexual abuse has now become so worrisome. While we acknowledge the combined efforts of government and child rights organisations in stemming the tide by prosecuting reported cases, the ugly trend has continued unabated. Sadly, many cases have gone unreported in order to avoid the attendant stigma to the victims and their families or dropped as a result of the intervention of the family/community leaders. Conversely, the victims, especially little girls/boys, and even their parents, would rather keep quite because the predators often threaten them with death should they divulge the unwholesome act to anyone.
However, any discerning parent/guardian/teacher could easily notice unusual dispositions of the affected child on close observation. Generally, victims of child abuse exhibit funny character traits such as self withdrawal, being moody, lack of concentration in class/home, loss of appetite etc, as a result of emotional trauma the victim is passing through. This is a red flag for the parent/guardian/teacher to press the child to get the facts from the victim.
Now, what is child sexual abuse?
Child sexual abuse is when an adult or a teenager lures, induces, takes advantage of and forcefully caresses or has a sexual relationship with a minor. It could be in form of touching the girl child’s breasts, genitals, buttocks or any other private parts of her body. Boy child may be abused by some unscrupulous aunties as well as the ugly activities are not limited to little girls alone.
Sadly enough, the predators are mostly close relations whom the victims had reposed a level of confidence in such as fathers, step fathers, uncles, neighbours, domestic staff, family drivers, lesson teachers, landlords or their children and even doctors. Sometimes ago, a woman had complained that her family doctor was trying to fondle with her breast on the pretence of examining her for an imaginary lump of the breast. It got that
bad.
However, while the menace may not be utterly eliminated, the following steps could be of tremendous help in preventing child sexual abuse by the parent/guardian/teachers:
1. Children should be educated early enough not to allow anyone no matter how close to the family to touch any sensitive parts of her/his body and should swiftly report any such act to the parent or teacher with the assurance that nothing would happen to her/him under whatever threat. Moreover, the girl child should be taught to always run away from any adult calling her my wife or trying to show her his naked body or asking her to touch his genitals.
2. Never leave your child in a secluded place with her lesson teacher. The lesson must be done in the open where people move around. A woman confessed that she lost her virginity to her lesson teacher when she was a young girl while her parents were not at home. It is pertinent to note that we need to build and sustain confidence in our children so that they can open up to us on issues affecting them.
The victims, especially little girls/boys, and even their parents, would rather keep quite because the predators often threaten them with death should they divulge the unwholesome act to anyone.
3. Educate your child not to expose her/his nakedness just like that in the house.
4. You have to warn your children never to allow an adult to show her/him pornographic pictures, magazines, films or other materials with sexual scene. As a parent, you should never indulge your self in watching any obscene films that can wreck your family. Sometimes ago, a young girl ran out of her parents’ house panting as she barely escaped being raped by his elder brother. After calming her down, she narrated that she was lying down on the carpet in their sitting room when her brother pounced on her and managed to escape from him after a struggle. What happened was that their dad usually watches blue film in the dead of the night while the children were fast asleep but inadvertently left the disk on the DVD player. The young man came back from school and started watching the film while his sister was taking a nap in the sitting room. Their mother said she had warned the man to stop the ugly act but did not listen.
5. Parents should monitor their children wherever they go, especially in a face me I face you house. Little girls/boys should not be too close to unmarried co-tenants without being monitored.
6. Parents should always be around during medical examination of a girl child/boy.
7. Parents should warn their children, especially little girls, not to walk alone in lonely places without an adult.
8. Adolescents should be warned to always lock the bathroom door from behind while taking their
birth.
In the light of the above, victims or witnesses of a child abuse should be encouraged not to keep quite but report the culprits to the appropriate authorities to save any potential victims from the predators. It is most certain that the rogue would make repeat performance of the evil act if left un-prosecuted. Also, the possibility of the victim committing suicide occasioned by the trauma is very high as reported of a girl victim recently in Yenegoa, Bayelsa State. The trauma could as well affect the child’s grade at school. She/he would be lonely and unhappy with herself/himself as a result of self condemnation and guilt for what was the fault of the predator and not hers/him. It could cause her/him sleepless night and nightmare and worse of all STD or unwanted pregnancy resulting to school stoppage.
Government and child rights organisations should do more in prosecuting the offenders to serve as a deterrent to any intending child sexual abuser.
Olumide Ojo is a life coach and public affairs analyst . He can be reached via: Olumideojo028@gmail.com
