A human rights activist, Citizen Lola Wey has disclosed that many married men die untimely because they only shoulder family needs.
Wey, who was commenting on increasing cases of sexual and gender based violence in families, urged married women to cultivate the habit of engaging in legitimate works or businesses that would make them financially independent.
Speaking in Osogbo on Frank Talk programme monitored by The Point, Wey, the Executive Director of a non-governmental organisation, Eco Centre for Transformation and Empowerment Initiative, urged married to stop making their spouses “full housewives”, saying such practice robbed women of becoming productive and contributing meaningfully to societal development.
Wey posited that the atmosphere of toxicity and violence is made possible whenever men only cater for the needs of the family when the wife is capable of also bringing something on the table.
For her, the present economy doesn’t support any man to solely provide for the family, saying men are being pressurised and exposed to early death if they become the only provider of the family.
She said, “In the kind of economy that we live in now, a family cannot survive solely on the earnings of a man.
The two must come together in the interest of the man so that he can live long.”
The rights activist observed that many families are headed by females because the men who are supposed to be in charge have departed to great beyond due to accumulated stress of catering for the needs of families and loved ones.
“It is because we have too much pressure on men that you see many families headed by female members. A man had worked himself too hard and in the process cut short his life span. So, if a man wants to live long, he should encourage his wife to also bring something to the table.”
She, however, urged men to support their wives to be financially stable without depending fully on them, adding that it is good to have women empowered in the society.
Wey stated, “If we are saying women should work, then, husbands should be ready to support them. Make it possible for her to contribute something to the upkeep of the family; that way, a woman will feel fulfilled and happy and she will not depend solely on the man. It is good to have women empowered; we must empower women and ensure they add values. God knows that it is needed to have a woman.
“Why should we insist on the man bringing something on the table? It should not be; we want our men to live well and long to enjoy their money and labour on their children. A woman also desires to live a life of honour and dignity and fulfill Iife; why must she be dependent on the man that is only bringing something home?”
On the other hand, the passionate advocate against sexual and gender based violence noted, “If a man feels he wants to face economic struggle alone, then he should kindly place his woman on a salary so that she will meet her responsibilities to her family. She has an obligation to discharge towards them without disturbing her husband.
So, if you can place her on a salary and do not use that to insult her at any given opportunity, then, it can work.”
She admonished married men who would want their wives to be full housewives to place them on monthly salaries so that they wouldn’t be economically disadvantaged.
“A woman has acquired a different experience growing up and it should be useful to the family and the society.
However, women who are not working are not jobless if their husbands actually want them like that. If they are paid monthly salaries by their husbands, the GDP of Nigeria will increase. When you get helpers and you pay them, you know how much you would have spent.
Instead of appreciating them, some men still use derogatory words against them when they are the ones who prevented them from working. These are economic, emotional and psychological abuses and we should discourage it,” Wey posited.
