With worsening economic hardship in Nigeria, most married men have been struggling to meet up with their family demands even as their wives complain bitterly that they now overwork themselves.
The Point gathered that some men are running away from their responsibilities in their families and leaving their wives with no choice than to go extra miles in bids to provide for their families.
Recently, a mother of three reportedly committed suicide in Enugu State after her husband abandoned her and their three children.
The deceased, said to have suffered depression, dropped her three young children at Ogui Police Station in Enugu, pulled her clothes and ran naked into a moving vehicle which crushed her to death.
While some men run away from their homes in order not to cater for their families, some evade their responsibility due to joblessness or outright laziness.
Checks by The Point revealed that more women engage in difficult trades and work, and make money so as to cater for their children.
A female gold miner in Osun, Jumoke Aderibigbe, said she took up the tedious work of digging land in search of gold since her husband has been defaulting in paying their children’s school fees and providing for other needs of the family.
She claimed that her husband, who she said is a commercial motorcyclist, started staying up late at night in the guise of working extra hours, “but he has been tactically avoiding me. I think someone that works extra hours should make more money but if you ask my husband for the children’s school fees and to buy foodstuffs, he will give you excuses.”
Jumoke, a mother of three children, wants the government to create better jobs for men, saying, “to be sincere, I can’t totally blame my husband, things are hard and that is why I am doing this work to help out. It is just that he has been feeling more relaxed with his situation and making me work more. I am only doing this for my children.”
However, some married men who spoke to The Point, while reacting to the claim of abdication of responsibilities, blamed the hardship in the country.
A commercial driver, simply identified as Basiru, said, “The truth is that it is difficult for married men to please their family members. You know that the way the economy is now; it takes the grace of God for one to even eat, not to talk of paying house rent and school fees among other things.
“This is the time for our wives to also show support by doing more work to help their families. So, I don’t think anyone should be blamed here. We are all in this country.”
Meanwhile, stakeholders have expressed concern over the development, saying it is out of place for men to cede their paternal duties for their wives.
Though they blamed the economic downturn, the stakeholders urged men not to allow the women to take control of the home front.
In his submission, a community leader and former Acting Vice Chancellor of Osun State University, Prof. Jelili Alamu, said, “abandoning your responsibility as a man to a woman is out of place.
“Nowadays, when you see women taking charge of responsibilities in the family, it doesn’t seem to be how it should be because men are supposed to be breadwinners of their families. When you establish a family, you should be competent to be able to take care of your family.
“Abandoning your responsibility for a woman is out of place. Traditionally in Africa, it is not like that. Our forefathers used to take care of their women and children.
“Unfortunately, our women are in competition with their men. They compete with their husbands in order to make the home front stable. So, when a man allows a woman to contribute to the home front too much, a point will be reached where the woman will now take the sole responsibility thereby making the man irresponsible,” he said.
Also speaking, the Chief Imam of Ifelodun Community Central Mosque in Osogbo, Abdulwaheed Bamigbade said the economic situation in the country should be blamed for this inhumane behaviour.
He said, “We are not the same; men are not the same. There are husbands who are truly responsible and we have others who are struggling and we have some who are not willing to be responsible.
“In all of these, the economic situation in the country is really affecting everyone, except those who are very rich.”
The stakeholders advanced the need for men to be more hardworking, make more money through legitimate means and take care of their families as encapsulated in the scriptures.
